MY MONEY CLIP PROBLEMS

Buffalo Clip from Sundance and Indian Head from Orvis

If you have read much of my blog, I think we can all pretty much agree that I have OCD.  This is just one more facet of it that I share for your entertainment and my purging, hoping to get a bit of control over it.  The whole money clip thing has been going on all my life.  I like them because I've never been big on carrying a lot of money in a wallet and with a money clip, I can sort it by denomination and make sure its all facing the same way, you know, OCD stuff.  It got a lot worse a few years back when I was actually in the business of buying estates and always carried a lot of money on me because if you don't have the cash, you don't get the deal.  It came to its worst when I picked up a camo money clip at the Shot Show at Las Vegas.  Gail thought I had just gone too redneck.  Then, to make it even worse, I was up at the Yosemite house by myself and in a hurry one day.  I had gone to the little market in Greeley Hill and when I got back home and emptied my pockets, my little camo money clip with all the money I had was not there.  I realized immediately what I had done.  My keys were on a lanyard, and I paid for whatever I bought and shoved the money clip in my pocket on top of my keys.  Obviously, when I pulled my keys out, with the lanyard, it took the money clip with them.   It couldn't have been 10 minutes, but by the time I got back to the market...someone had found it.  I just kept telling myself that I hoped that it was somebody who really needed the money and not some tweak who used it to go buy meth.  That's about a  50/50 chance there.  Well, I actually stopped carrying money clips for a while.  Then, Gail bought me the one above on the left.  I really like this clip.  It matches a whole bunch of others little things I have, and its just cool.  I have also stopped putting lanyards on my keys.  (except for my quads and backhoe and things like that...whole different purpose)  Then, one day I realized I didn't know where my money clip was.  I had no clue where I had lost it.  I was slowly losing my mind over this and quickly driving Gail insane by mentioning it every day.  One night I was on the Internet, kind of out of it from back pain and lack of sleep.  I came across a money clip very similar to the one I lost.  I think at the time I thought to myself, "If I buy another one, I'll find the lost one."  Things usually work that way for me.  I remember thinking that...not actually buying it.  Just a couple of days ago I got this strange visual image of my briefcase tipping over in the back seat of my truck and spilling out.  Even though I had looked under the back seat for it maybe 10 times, I went outside at like 3 in the morning and looked again.  Just as I was about to give up, I saw something that looked kind of strange.  I reached for it and it was as if my money clip just appeared in my hand.  It had fallen against the seat rail in such a way that it had looked like it was part of the mechanism.  Then, the next day, the other one showed up in the mail.  Well, looking on the bright side, they aren't identical.  Gail bought the original one from Sundance,   I bought the second one from Orvis.  The new one is a bit bigger and has slots for cards.  Though, the clip is magnetic, so I wouldn't carry credit cards in it.  Well, all in all, I am really glad to have the one Gail gave me back...and in a way, I almost wonder if I would have found it if I hadn't bought the new one.  I at least got a story out of it.  Even if it is one that makes me look foolish.

It's kind of hard to see, but "Sundance" is embossed in the one and "Orvis" in the other.

Just a few of the money clips I've used over the years

Is anyone surprised that I still have all these?

KENTUCKY FRIED RAT

Yes, Pollo Frito de Ecuador...had to go in. OMG!!! ICK!!!  I also decided to share this because of the strange timing of it all.  Shortly before coming across this photo, Gail...literally, just totally out of all context asked, "Have you ever had a chicken come running to meet you when you call it by name?  I have.  That's why I could never eat chicken."  End of discussion.  Living with Gail is so much fun.  It's fundamentally impossible to be bored.  I've known her essentially all my life and I have no idea what's going to happen when the hamster starts the wheel spinning inside that blonde head.

GALAPAGOS BLUE FOOTED BOOBIES

We went to the Galapagos on our honeymoon.  These are some for the goofiest, most aptly named birds in the world.  Their feet are actually bright blue.  This is a mating ritual.  They dance around making clown sounds.  One sound is lie one of those bicycles horns with the rubber bulb.  The best part is watching them land.  They are really quite graceful when fishing, sometimes, from over a hundred feet up, they'll tuck in their wings and hit the water like an olympic high diver and essentially always come up with a fish.  But, when they come back to land, they don't quite know what to do with their giant blue webbed duck feet, so they actually tuck and roll.  Truly entertaining birds.

DOSE-TIME CALCULATOR

My dad did his residency in Radiation Oncology and Nuclear Medicine at M.D. Anderson.  I found this in his things years ago.  It always makes me think of Apollo 13.  Those guys at NASA brought them home with less sophisticated equipment than I carry around in my pocket every day in the form of an iPhone.  They were using slide rules, not computers.  My dad used this in the 50s.  It was kind of like a slide rule for time/dosage in radiation treatments.  I remember when he got his first computer which basically did these same calculations.  It was like 6 refrigerators with humongous reels of tape.  I was amazed when I found this, because I had remembered a story he told when I was barely old enough to understand it and I didn't know what the thing looked like and had no clue there was one still in existence.  Dad's story:  Another resident came up to him and said "Hey, Ernie, have you seen this thing?  It's amazing."  He then proceeded to condescendingly show my dad how to use it.  According to my dad, his tone was kind of like my dad wasn't quite capable of grasping the intricacies of the mathematics.  My dad just listened and thanked the guy for explaining it to him.  It would have been interesting to see that other doctor's face whenever it was that he noticed the lettering on the innermost circle.  If you can't read it in this photo, it says: "Designed by E. J. Braun M.D."

Cylinder Recycling

I have found that old revolver cylinders make excellent pencil holders.  Here, I demonstrate with an old Colt .45 cylinder displaying some of my favorite Victorian mechanical pencils.  I have a whole bunch more cylinders and I am trying to come up with more ingenious ways to use them to make desk sets.  Ideas would be most welcome.  Usually, these kinds of things just come to me, but I need some inspiration.

How to Organize your Pens (when you have OCD)

I know this may seem a little much for some, but I just love these things.  I have, perhaps, a little issue with acquiring, fixing, restoring and organizing things.  These cases make me happy.  I think my pens are happy too.

TUNA TRAUMA

STARKIST CHARLIE TUNA TRANSISTOR RADIO

You know, I'd probably collect these if I had ever seen another one.  I've seen some other Charlie Tuna Radios, but they are much different.  They're rectangular with Charlie's image on them.  This is the only one I've ever seen like this.  Lord knows why, but we went on a field trip to the StarKist canning factory when I was in the first grade.  It was sooo disgusting.  Why someone thought a bunch of first graders would want to be traumatized by walking through a fish slaughter house.  But then, I kind of do understand.  Most of my early grade school teachers were octogenarians (they were probably really in their 30s, but seemed like they were ready croak at any time) and I swear, they were sadists.  But, I scored this transistor radio in the gift shop (why does a canning factory need a gift shop?)...and the anthropomorphizing of those poor fish with Charlie, the reject, seemed to make it all a bit less traumatic.  For those of you who don't remember the commercials, Charlie was like a beatnik Tuna and was morally unsuited to be caught and turned into tuna salad.  Their slogan was "Sorry Charlie"...which also smacked of anti-Japanese racism to me...but I was a weird kid and probably the only one who picked up on it.

The Art of Joining a Female Conversation

One thing I just absolutely love about women is probably something that drives a lot of guys crazy.  I’m referring to their ability to speak simultaneously and with nothing any man would recognize as logic.  But you just have to force yourself to appreciate these quirky behaviors and look at them as a source of your own personal amusement.  An example:  You will see this when a group of women are talking about another woman or especially watching a show like the “Real Housewives of wherever” They will just be ripping on the stupid women on the show who have no realization that they are on television just to be ridiculed.  Anyway, the women watching the show will be verbally tearing the TV women to pieces, reminiscent of lions in the Roman Coliseum and suddenly one will zero in on something and suddenly, the absolute essence of the conversation will transform.  You’ll suddenly hear something like:  “Oh, I just love her shoes,” and the whole conversation will suddenly shift to earrings and fashion and shopping in general.  Then, just as suddenly, they’ll go back to ripping the TV women to shreds.  If you are a man in this situation, just sit back and smile sardonically to yourself like you know something.  Don’t say anything.  If you are a real man, you’ll just look foolish trying to keep up in a conversation like this.  There is no logic, structure or ultimate goal that any man can follow.  They are just women being women and you really need to keep your mouth shut.  Should one of them notice your smile and ask you about it just shake your head and say nothing.  Or say something somewhat mysterious like you were just thinking about something that happened a long time ago.  Odds are, none of them are going to notice you, but be ready for the remote possibility that the will.  Don’t feel like you are being ignored and don’t let it hurt your feelings.  You are just watching women being women.  When that happens, you cease to exist.  Just accept it.  It is something of a compliment that you are able to witness this, not a great one, but try to look at it that way.

If you want to join in, just start talking at whatever seems the most appropriate spot and don't take it personally when they don't all stop and listen to you.  You have to talk about female stuff and keep your male ego in check when they talk over you.  Stop and listen to them.  They are talking over each other.  This the the hardest thing for men to deal with.  Usually one of the more empathetic women will stop and try to listen to you.  But, it's just so awkward because you feel like you are just keeping her out of the conversation and she really isn't interested in what you are saying.  We've all heard that women are better at multi-tasking than men.  This isn't folklore and it isn't just training.  Women physiologically have a larger corpus colosum than men do.  This is the network in the center of the brain that keeps the two hemispheres communicating.


Joining into a female conversation and holding your own is one of the most difficult things a man can attempt.  But, if you find yourself in a situation where it would be appropriate to try, you should.  

Why Can't They Talk?

I wish some of these things could talk.  This pistol will never work again.  Interestingly, it doesn't look that bad in this photo.  But, believe me, its thrashed.  What makes it fascinating to me is that it was abused, just used to the point of wearing out.  It is a Russian Nagant.  If you've ever seen the move "Enemy at the Gates" the Russian officer in the boat shooting at the people in the river at the very beginning is shooting one of these.  Its the only time I remember seeing one in a film.  Anyway, for all I know, this one was there at Stalingrad.  They are a weird revolver.  I used to have one I bought when they cleaned out of bunch of Eastern European arsenals after the fall of the Soviet Union.  I paid like $200.00 for it, just because.  It is such a bizarre design.  The cartridges have the projectile inside the shell casing and when you cock the hammer, the whole cylinder moves forward and shoves the end of the brass into the forcing cone.  OK, it does make a fantastic seal, but...once you've fired them all, then you have to eject the spent casings to reload.  I only shot it once because I had to go into my shop and knock the casings out of the cylinder with a punch because of the way they expand when fired.  I want to know how the hell they used these things in battle.  I probably would still have that one, which was essentially in new condition, but some guy just had to have it so, I sold it to him.  This one isn't worth anything and to me, is much more interesting.  Some Russian soldier used this thing...a lot.  And, somehow, it ended up here in the United States in this condition.  Every other one I've seen were arsenal imports...which makes me even more curious about the history of this one.  But...too bad, because I've just told you all I'll ever know about it.  Actually, I shouldn't say it will never work again...because it probably does "work"...but I'll never fire it.  I wasn't all that comfortable shooting the one in good shape.

Dual Purpose Decades Apart

I have always had a fascination with writing utensils.  Noticing these two made me pause and think.  The  one on the left is a mechanical pencil from the 1920s and the top doubles as a cigarette lighter.  The one on the right is a silver and gold pen Whitny bought me.  The top of it is a flash drive.  The similarity juxtaposed with the striking differences are fascinating...don't you think?